Monday, 29 April 2013

Tears, Needles & Relaxation

So, as I said yesterday, I was off to the Dcotor's this morning to get blood test results and scan results.  

I'll deal with the scan results first as they're slightly less complicated.  Basically, 3 weeks before Christmas I started bleeding and, up until 2 weeks ago, I bled every single day…and I'm still alive (which freaks Matt out no end lol).  The scan results showed no abnormalities and no cysts on the ovaries (which we thought may have been a problem again, having previously been diagnosed with Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome as a teenager).  The only thing it showed is that my womb is slightly misshapen, in that the top of it comes down a bit, so it looks like I have 2 "holes" - nice!  But, apparently, this shouldn't cause any problems should I ever manage to get pregnant again (and hold on to it for longer than 16 weeks that is).  

Now, the blood test results.  There were a few abnormalities; specifically my Erythrocyte Sedimentation Rate or, ESR as it's called for short.  I have no idea what that means, except that I am being sent to have more blood sucked out of me tomorrow too… 

The Doctor I saw today though was a locum at the Surgery but he was fantastic.  He asked me what the problem was and went through all my issues regarding Fibro, ME, etc.  He asked me loads of questions too and said, in his opinion, based on what I'd said, I also have Polymyalgia Rheumatica.  He said that it is commonly treated with Steroids but, that said, "normal" Fibro doesn't tend to react too well with steroids so he left the choice up to me: do I want steroids now or do I want to carry on with the medication I have currently and see how I get on with a view to possibly having a course of steroids at a later date?  I went for the second option which seemed to please him.  

He kept looking at me very intently and then he said to me "Gemma, what are you worried about?"  I was gobsmacked.  I looked at him and answered quite honestly "I don't know….silly things….every thing" and ended up in tears.  (Trying to blink back the tears as I type this too).  He went on to say to me that I get stressed a lot and worry myself over silly things, which is true, and also explained about comfort eating, stressing again and retaining tension and how that won't be helping my shoulder (or the bleeding issue either).  

He then took my right hand (which is the arm with the bad shoulder) and pressed his finger firmly into an area next to my little finger, then looked me square in the eyes and pulled my arm up!  I waited for the inevitable bolt of pain that was about to rip through my body and, sure enough, nothing happened.  Sorry, what?  Nothing happened.  He then smiled and said "that didn't hurt did it?"  He then went on to ask me if I had ever tried "alternative" therapies.  I said I'd had massage before and had considered, but never had, acupuncture - this made his eyes light up then, before I knew what was happening, he'd turned to his bag and whipped out a packet of acupuncture needles.  Now, I'd never seen these needles in real life and, have to admit, I did go a little light headed at how long they are - especially when he pulled one out of the packet and pushed it into my hand where he had previously had his finger.  

He said that, when it's in the right place, I'll feel a dull ache.  At this point I was starting to think that the needle was going to come out the other side of my hand!, but then there it was, the dull ache.  He then told me to move my arm around, which I did and, surprisingly, no all?!

Turns out, perhaps now obviously, that he actually specialises in acupuncture and runs a clinic about half an hour away from me.  As he said, unfortunately the NHS don't fund acupuncture, but he said he felt it is definitely something I would benefit from and that I should look into and, before any of you think, "of course he did so he can get money out of you", he actually recommended me to an acupuncturist who is only about 10 minutes away from me.  He also said I should phone the local Counselling Service "just to talk things through", rather than bottle them up and that I should look into the local meditation group that runs meetings at the weekend.  I think I may just do that.  

Upon leaving, he shook my hand and then, while still holding my hand, told me to stop worrying and, having picked up on my saying that my appearance/weight was something that stresses me out, said "I mean look at you, you look fantastic and you are beautiful; if anyone thinks otherwise punch them out". (I laughed at this point).  Is it possible to fall a bit in love with your Doctor?, because I did.  But seriously though, the man is a genius; not only did he take away the pain in my shoulder (and show me how to use the pressure point at home to help with the pain), he actually made me feel good about myself.  

I will be looking into acupuncture at some point though, at £45 a session, it will have to be as a treat.  As for the meditation and counselling, I'll be making the necessary calls and enquiries later this week.  

If anyone wants the link to his website, he is based in Kent (UK) and can be found here.  

Until next time, 
Gem xx

Sunday, 28 April 2013

Sunday Spiral

I hate Sunday’s!  Even if I have had a wonderful day. 

It’s usually around dinner time (6pm ish) that the loathing starts.  I call it the “Sunday Spiral”. 

It doesn’t matter if I’ve had a brilliant weekend with my boys or an absolutely rubbish one, come that time on a Sunday my mood spirals.  I can only assume it’s because it’s “back to normality” tomorrow; school runs, Husband at work, Child at School, early mornings, appointments, etc.

I usually end up feeling really down but, sometimes, it makes me bad tempered too.  This week though, it seems like the boys are affected as well. 

Brandon is just in an odd mood today; he’s literally flitting from absolutely lovely to complete and utter little sod in a heartbeat and Matt has been moody/down all day – I’m sure that Brandon’s behaviour hasn’t helped.

I’m just finding this Sunday Spiral a bit harder than usual.  There just seems to be an air of despondency in the house and it’s just miserable.  Even now Brandon is having his shower and giggling like a loon when the faucet hits certain parts of his ticklish body, Matt’s mood just doesn’t seem to want to improve. 

I keep trying to lighten the atmosphere, but it doesn’t work so I think I’ll just stick Catchphrase on in 10 minutes and try not to think about Monday…

Brandon is off to Breakfast Club (or Marmite Club as he calls it) in the morning because I have to get ready and head to the Doctors.  I have an appointment to discuss scan results from a scan that I had done back at the end of February and, despite an urgent blood test last week, which revealed nothing, I still have considerable pain in my right shoulder/down my right arm – it’s been at least 10 days now. 

I did go to the Doctor about it last week and was put on different medication for my Fibromyalgia but not even that’s taking the pain away; I don’t even think it’s taking the edge off.  The only way I can temporarily forget about the pain is to find a comfortable position for my arm, engross myself in something and then not move for as long as possible.  Bit of a double edged sword because by not moving I’m making it stiffer which then makes it hurt again, and you see the problem.  Guess I’ll see what they think the best course of action is tomorrow. 

Well, Brandon’s off up to bed now so I’m gonna sit and enjoy the peace for a little while and, hopefully, my mood won’t deteriorate too much more.  I’m sure things will look better in the morning, even if it is Monday. 

Enjoy your evening. 
Gem x 

Let's start with "hello"

Firstly hello!  Thank you for taking the time to stop by this little blog of mine.  I promise it’s not a whingey blog; it’s just a blog about being a Mummy and a Wife and trying to find the balance between that and being “me”. 

I guess the first thing I should do is do a little introduction into my life, for those that don’t know who I am. 

I’m Gemma, a 30 something year old Mummy and Wife.  I am also a Make-Up Artist (there’s a blog for that side of my life too, just click here). 

I love pretty things, sparkly things and girlie things, but I can also be a bit of a Geek too.  I enjoy online gaming – I play World of Warcraft and Star Wars The Old Republic.  They don’t take over my life, it’s just as and when I can be bothered and it comes and goes in fads. Sometimes I can waste an entire weekend playing, other times not so much. 

I dabble in photography; I think I’m pretty good at it.  It’s a hobby, I don’t do it professionally.  I like to take photos of people mostly, usually after I’ve completed a makeover or something like that. 

I have a bit of a hairless animal thing going on too.  I have 5 Chinese Crested Dogs, varying between 7 months old and 10 years old.  I love Sphynx Cats too, though I don’t own any; Matt can just about cope with the hairless dogs.  We also have a rabbit called “Babbit” and a cornsnake called “Azzy”.    

I’m known for having “noticeable” hair.  I was pillar box red for around 18 months before I dyed it blue.  I’ve also had dreadlocks of varying colours too.  I currently have blue hair, though am already thinking about my next colour.  I’m also well known because of my car…she’s a purple Nissan Micra (called Polly); she has eyelashes, pink wheels, pink windscreen wipers, pink & black seat covers, pink & black mats, a pink & black handbrake and a pink & black steering wheel cover…oh and she has a pink nodding Crestie dog too!

Matt is 2 years younger than me.  Sometimes it seems like he is years older and other days it seems like I have 2 Children. 

I’ve been married to him for 2 years this July (2013) but we’ve been together for 4½years.  Some think we got married too quickly but, after everything we’d been through up to that point, it didn’t seem too quick to us; we’d already been through more things together than some people go through in their entire lives.  I think we knew, from day one, that we were going to end up getting married.  The connection was instant and, although we were both really nervous on the first date, we were both comfortable enough to be ourselves; there were no airs and graces.  It’s rare to find that sort of connection and, having both previously been in long term relationships which ended badly, we were both a little sceptical about dating again but, within the first night, it just felt “right”. 

My little boy will be 6 in June so, no, he isn’t Matt’s biological Child.  However, the sperm donor hasn’t been around since Brandon was 2 weeks old.  Matt has been around since Brandon was 16 months old and the chemistry between them was instant too.  It takes a real man to step up to the plate and take on another person’s Child.  Brandon knows that there was someone else before Matt and that Matt isn’t his real Daddy but, as far as I’m concerned, Matt is his Daddy.  Any boy can father a child but only a man can be a daddy. 

We’re a small family and, most of the time, we’re a happy little unit however, like all families, there are times when things don’t go quite right.  There are also times when I feel like I am only Mummy, Wife or Make Up Artist and I feel like I am losing touch with who Gemma is.  This is what this blog is about; it’s about being a mummy, being a wife and, at the same time, trying to stay in touch with yourself and not lose your identity. 

One of the other sides of me is the side living with Chronic Pain.  I have Fibromyalgia, Joint Hypermobility and Chronic Fatigue Syndrome.  I do try not to let it affect my life too much, especially not my time with Brandon which is ever more precious now that he is at School but, sometimes, it does take over, so you can expect there to be pain related blogs too. 

All of the views expressed within this blog are mine and are not intended to cause offence to anyone.  If I can make one person feel like they’re not alone and that someone else is going through it too, then I’ll be happy.  Even if you read this blog just to escape the trials in your own life then I’ve done something right. 

Please feel free to share this blog with your friends, leave comments, ask questions, whatever you feel. 

Until next time, Gem. x